How to Interpret Nonverbal Indications: Reading Between the Lines
Introduction
When communicating with others, not everything is conveyed through words. Much of communicating is done through body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, and sometimes just silence. Learning to "read between the lines"—to interpret what is not being communicated directly—is an important part of all communication, developing strong relationships, and emotional intelligence.
In this article, we will explore how to develop the skill of deciphering what is not being said, how it benefits us personally and professionally, and what to observe when conversing with others.
What is meant by "reading between the lines"?
"Reading between the lines" means inferring the implicit communications, feelings or intentions that may be communicated beyond the actual words someone uses. It involves listening to not just the words being said but also to non-verbal communications, tone, and context to gain a complete understanding.
Individuals, for countless reasons, can deliberately hide their real thoughts:
- Fear of conflict
- Lack of trust
- Cultural appropriateness/cultural norms
- Efforts to be polite
To understand these hidden messages is important if we want to relate to and communicate with others as effectively as possible.
1. Be Aware of Body Language
Nonverbal communication is oftentimes the most affected by the body language people have. In fact, research suggests that more than 70 percent of communication is non-verbal.
Signs to look for:
- Crossed Arms Are a Defense Mechanism
- Avoiding Eye Contact Means Discomfort or Dishonesty of Some Sort
- Leaning Forward Shows Interest, Engagement, and Understanding
- Fidgeting often signals anxiety or impatience, both verbally and physically.
By learning to notice those signals, you will be able to decipher what the speaker is really feeling when their words may be saying otherwise.
2. Listen for the Tone of Voice
The meaning of a statement can changes completely based on how someone says it. For example, the phrase “I’m fine” could mean contentedness or could mean deep frustration, depending on how it is said.
Look for:
- Sarcasm or irony
- Oxymorons like too loud and soft spoken
- Rapid unexpected pitch changes
- A softened voice when the topic should be serious
- A cheerful tone masking disappointment
The noise behind tone indicated the emotional layer behind what someone is saying.
3. Be Aware of Silence
Silence can be just as informative as speech. If someone avoids speaking about a topic, provides short answers, and switches the topic quickly, the person is trying to hide something, avoid their discomfort or secrecy.
Examples of silence as discomfort:
- Person avoids eye contact when discussing their mistake
- When someone hesitates to answer your question
- When a topic or issue gets repeatedly ignored
Being aware of the silence can help you ask better follow-up questions and address hidden concerns.
4. Pay Attention to Facial Expressions
Facial expressions are frequently unconscious and can indicate a person’s true feelings, whether they are feeling a lot of emotion and trying to keep it together or they are trying consciously to hide their feelings from us.
Some clues to look for in facial expressions include:
- Tight lips can mean anger, not being able to share feelings, and hiding feelings.
- Eyebrows raised can indicate surprise and disbelief.
- Using a smile that does not involve the eyes may mean the person is feeling forced.
- Rushing blink rate can indicate stress.
By recognizing facial cues, you will be able to see other people’s feelings more clearly and understand context.
5. Imagine the Context
Words have various meanings based on the context of the conversation. If a joke is made during a serious meeting discussion, it may mean passive aggression or feeling uncomfortable.
- Before reacting have you asked yourself:
- What is the context?
- Who are the other people present?
- What happened before this conversation?
By thinking about the context, you can enhance your understanding of the communication and minimize possible misinterpretation.
6. Ask Open-ended Clarifying Questions. Sometimes you'll have
A feeling that someone is being completely dishonest. This may give you a chance to ask questions that might encourage the person to be honest and on a level that they otherwise wouldn't be comfortable answering.
Examples could be:
- I feel like you are holding onto anger or that you need to say something else. Do you want to talk about it?"
- You say you are okay, but I don't really believe you.
- "Can you explain what you mean?"
Questions like this help build rapport, and credibility will be obvious.
7. Mirror and Match for Connection
We are saying there is mirroring when person “a” unintentionally mirrors person “b's” tone and physical behavior. This helps to establish rapport and trust, and the person will feel more comfortable sharing with you.
How to do it:
- Match their sitting posture
- Use similar tone or speed of speech
- Mirror back key phrases they say
By creating a mirroring moment, you can create a more trusting context for open communication.
8. Stay Emotionally Aware
To understand non-verbal cues requires being aware of your own emotional state. If you are distracted, overwhelmed, or otherwise having a free-flowing emotional response, then you may misinterpret what others are trying to communicate to you.
Ways to enhance your emotional awareness:
- Practice mindfulness
- In some cultures, making eye contact can sometimes genuinely be construed without the glasses of cultural subjectivity.
- You must give yourself permission to pause for a moment before responding.
By enhancing your self-awareness, you can be effectively able to glean what someone is trying to say.
9. Cultural Awareness Matters
Remember, how unspoken cues are conveyed varies by cultural tradition. For example, something that may signal discomfort in one culture might signal respect in another.
Here are some examples:
- We sometimes look away in certain situations to be polite
- Eye contact is interpreted as an indication of sincerity in certain cultures.
Understanding the conversation and context in which speaker's cultural background that is being presented will help you to avoid miscommunication and be respectful.
10. Make It a Habit
Reading between the lines is a skill that you'll develop through active practice and observation. Your first step is to become more observant in everyday conversations and think about not only what people say—but also what they really mean.
Conclusion
The act of reading between the lines is a potent awareness tool in any personal or professional communication. When you learn to upgrade your level of awareness to understand non-verbal cues such as body language, tone, and silence—you are able to begin to understand how people really feel & think. This level of awareness will help you build trust, resolve conflicts, and develop authentic relationships. As the wise people say: "People may forget what you said, but they will Never forget the feelings you evoked in them.
Listen not just with your ears but listen with your heart, eyes and your gut.
0 Comments